A perfect first love

/October 2021

As you passed by my seat, I silently recited your name over and over again in my heart but pretended to do a math problem as if nothing had happened. 

When you were far away, I found your name written all over the draft paper-Sunan. 

However, at that time, I was in the third year of high school, love is pure luxury. 

I just transferred here when I received your love letter in the first week of the new semester. On the letter paper with heart-shaped petals, you only wrote briefly: "Shen Lanxin, I like you." 

So I was curious about you and decided to take a good look at you. 

To my surprise, as soon as I looked up, you lived in my heart. 

Never knew that a boy could wear a white T-shirt so vividly, never knew that a boy would be so clean and bright as if he did not eat the fire and smoke of the world. 

At that glance, I knew I was done. 

I sat in the front row of the classroom and was a good boy in the eyes of teachers and classmates. 

When I handed out the examination papers that day, I knew that your seat was the one near the window at the end of the classroom. 

Occasionally, when I look back, I will accidentally meet your eyes, and then both of them will move away quickly. 

So, at that moment, did you ever think, "does that blue heart classmate like me, too?" 

I like to see you all-powerful on the basketball court, but I will only watch from a distance. I never dare to cheer for you or hand you a bottle of water as loudly as other girls do. 

Because I am an excellent blue heart, I have proud self-esteem, and this self-esteem makes me not brave enough emotionally. 

After the sports meeting in the third year of senior high school, I don't know who in the other class took my chair by mistake. 

So I had to huddle with Leaf in that class. 

When I returned to the classroom after lunch, I was surprised to find that there was an extra chair on the seat and I knew it was a chair bought from the store. 

As soon as I looked back, I saw the people next to you pointing at you and nodding to me. 

And you still look indifferent, as if all this has nothing to do with you, you just do what should be done, just like eating and sleeping is a natural thing. 

At that moment, I suddenly thought, why do you like someone but try so hard to hide it from him? 

Besides, the other person also happens to like himself. 

When I put aside all my worries and seriously said to you, "Sunan, actually I like you," I saw your pretty smile spread slowly from the corners of your eyes. 

Later, you said to me, "Blue Heart, you don't know how beautiful my world was at that moment." 

You also told me, in fact, for this love, how inferiority complex you are. 

Because all the time, a voice kept saying in your heart, "the light of Blue Heart is too dazzling, and Sunan is just a poor student who sits in the back row and doesn't know how to manage his grades." 

So you told me, thank you very much for letting me know that the so-called love is equal to everyone. 

And I should be so glad that I said that love. 

Because in the last hard time of the third year of high school, there was a boy named Sunan who gave me the greatest warmth and strength. 

I was pleasantly surprised to see that you also began to listen carefully and like to hear you say, "even if you don't go to college in the end, at least let yourself remember that you worked very hard for a girl named Lan Xin." 

On the day when the college entrance examination was released, I saw you look down in front of the list line by line, and then stayed on a name for a long time. 

Yes, in the end, you and I are not together-maybe most first love will end like this. 

But I am so glad that when I like you, you also happen to like me. 

And more importantly, we all told each other so bravely: I like you very much. 

So, this should be a perfect first love.

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