Eternity means letting go

/October 2021

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It was two years ago when I first met him. At that time, he was a roamer who had、 just come to this city, single, and had no thought of settling down. I still remember that he used to describe himself as a lost child drifting in the world, seeking things to till his heart, he could never stop, for he would lose his way, then die in silence.

 It was like a crystal, though, our relationship, beautiful. pure but fragile. Sometimes we just like old friends. talking and laughing. But I knew that there is always a separate world in which only he exists, and he never let other people in.

 "True relationship takes work," I told myself time and time again. I could wait, wait for the day he let me in, and wait for the day we became true friends. For a while, I believed that, until his leaving.

 It was hidden and with an awful finality`'.Till then did I know that I was a little part of his time on earth, a little understanding of his physical being. I was a little piece of him. Maybe to his drought-like heart, our relationship was just a drizzle, useless and disappointing.

 Time slid away from my fingers while I was trying to get on with my life. I locked our memories in a box and put it at the bottom of my heart, pretending nobody had turned up in my life, nothing had happened.

His appearing again split my peace. Vivid memories came flooding back from the box deep in my heart. For a while, I was vaguely conscious, it was just like there hadn't been any distance, any separation between us, and his one-year left was just an alter of eyes.

When he told me that he had found the harbor for his wandering heart, I felt like drowning in a lake, cold and breathless. He kept talking but I could not hear a word. Perhaps nobody could be immune to `' such felony.

That night, he and his true love haunted my dream. They were flying far across the fields and woods, leaving me far behind. I ran and ran, but could not catch up. I was the one left behind.

At that time, I realized, even perfect love couldn't promise you forever, sometimes, forever means to let him go.