It turned out to be love, but that's all-2

/October 2021


In this way, I graduated, worked, and became a national civil servant. 

I thought I could forget Xiao Feng because I had been waiting for so long that I was going to be numb. 

Until a few days ago I was on a business trip to Qingdao, a strange mobile phone number sent me a text message, just three words, "how are you", my heart surging ups and downs, I feel that it must be Xiao Feng. 

I called to tell him that I happened to be on a business trip to Qingdao, and his text message came. How could it be such a coincidence? 

I said I wanted to see him, but he still refused to meet me. 

Thinking about the wait for him over the past few years, thinking of our acquaintance, thinking of my self-masochistic drinking, smoking, playing mahjong, unscrupulous depravity, and unscrupulous misdemeanor because of him. 

I told Xiao Feng this in a text message, and this time, he quickly replied: "are you the girl you say you are?" 

If that's the case, why do we still meet? " 

I stared at his text message and couldn't believe my eyes. 

All the time, probably because we are netizens of this special way of understanding, his understanding of me is too one-sided. 

However, I am sorry that I have paid so much and waited so long to get what I can only become enemies like this. 

I finally lost Xiao Feng. 

He has since become a scar in my heart, and as long as I can't dodge to think of him, I will try to control myself so as not to cry. 

I also know that many factors have made my nerves particularly sensitive and fragile, and gradually get used to strong morbid possessiveness. 

He may never be able to imagine that we are just netizens who have never met, but he will be so important in my heart that he is irreplaceable. 

I don't know why I am so confused and injured, while he is so easy to move forward and retreat. 


Maybe my true feelings finally moved him, and one day shortly after that unhappiness, he said that he would meet me when he came to Beijing. 

It was the first time that we had "known" each other for three years. 

He drove over from Qingdao that day, a white Toyota, a 36-year-old man, well-dressed, more handsome and elegant than I thought, and in reality, he spoke more fluently and wisely than in phone calls and e-mails and behaved in a very gentlemanly manner. 

Sitting in his car, I felt a sudden surge of inferiority. 

He has his way of life and circle, and that must be something I can't get close to. Otherwise, why didn't he want to see me for more than three years? 

He said that I was an innocent, kind-hearted girl with no plan, unlike some women, who tried every means to get close to him just to get his money. 

I think it may be my innocence that attracts him. 

I don't know if he ever loved me, but I'm sure at least he didn't hate me. 

And I prefer to believe that he is a good man. 

After we finished eating, we walked along with the road hand in hand for a long time, stopping from time to time to hug and kiss for a long time. 

Then he took me home. 

He said, I have been controlling and restraining myself. Once upon a time, you were a student. I was afraid that it would affect your studies and prospects, so I insisted on not meeting you. Tonight, too, if you come back with me or I come to your place, it's impossible to say that anything between us will be broken. 

He said wait until the first snow this winter, then I will come to Beijing and let you be my woman. 

But he does not know I have already written a letter to him, these two days are about to send to his mailbox, the content is very short: 

I often close my account for affection, to whom do I open it? 

Let's use the following passage as our recollection of the past--. 

I was born before I was born, and I am old when I was born. 

I hate that I am born late, and I hate that I am born early. 

I was born before I was born, and I am old when I was born. 

Do not hate to be born at the same time, love with you every day. 

I was born before I was born, and I was old when I was born. 

I am far away from you, and my cape is separated from you. 

I was born before I was born, and I was old when I was born. 

Turn butterflies to find flowers and roost fragrant grass every night.

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