Lover and benefactor

/October 2021

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Neighbor Grandma Zhang and his wife have been married for more than 50 years. They are famous model couples in the community. 

When I get up early to go to work, I often see them hand in hand and go to the vegetable market to buy vegetables. When I come back from work in the evening, I often see them walking in the garden of the community, hand in hand. 

Sometimes looking at their back, the heart is always full of inexplicable affection and moved. 

Once, I finally couldn't contain my curiosity and secretly asked Grandma Zhang about the secrets of a happy marriage. She patted me on the back and said very seriously: 

"Qingqiu, when you regard your partner as a benefactor, everything he does is a surprise for you; his existence and companionship itself is fulfilling his promise with his life; as far as you are concerned, his strengths and weaknesses are worthy of appreciation and praise! 

When you often get along with your loved ones with gratitude, your heart will naturally be filled with rich and beautiful joy. overtime, your partner will be infected by the light in your heart, and he will learn to respond to you in the same way, because in this world, no one in this world will refuse his partner to appreciate himself, thank himself, and affirm himself. " 

Grandma Zhang paused and then said, "on the contrary, when you regard your partner as an enemy, you will take everything that the other person does for granted, and you can find a hundred reasons to be picky. Over time, the other person will be bored, pessimistic, and unconfident, and will instinctively be in the mood of self-protection and antagonism at the sight of you, which is not only not conducive to the development of their relationship. 

It is even less possible to manage a happy marriage! " 

"like my wife and I, we are already in our 70s this year, so we can't be like you young people, and we still have so many years of life. At our age, you will know that when we get up in the morning, what we fear most is that the other party will never wake up, so, ah, every day we can meet is a gift and preference from God, and we are not willing to quarrel." 

Grandma Zhang's words are the most beautiful "love words" I have ever heard when I came to this world. These words moved me, moved my heart, and filled me with infinite hope and gratitude for my future life. 

All over the world, happy marriages have their similarities, and so do unhappy marriages. 

In the world of mortals, there are how many stupid men and women, while ferociously scolding their wives (husbands), while harshly criticizing each other's faults, while bitterly accusing each other of their sins, and turning around, but tearfully aggrieved to tell their misfortune?! 

A person's attitude towards his partner not only reflects the person's inner accomplishment and pattern but also determines the luck and misfortune of this person's life! 

Girlfriend Xiao Li first married that year, every day clamoring for divorce, she felt that her husband does not make much money, bad temper, do not do housework, do not know how to be considerate, and do not know how to be romantic. 

Later, when she had a child, she chose the latter between facing divorce and keeping a child. 

To give her children a happy home, she began to reflect on herself constantly. Is her husband useless, or is she too sharp and mean on weekdays? 

After reading a large number of psychological books, she finally understood: it turns out that everyone is a combination of angels and demons. If the wife (husband) insists on looking at her partner with kindness and gratitude, she will affirm TA's contribution to the family, be grateful for TA's constant companionship, feel sorry for TA's difficulty in making money to support her family, and praise TA's kindness and kindness. It won't take long. 

A terrible partner will get better and better, and happiness will follow. 

On the other hand, if the wife (husband) insists on looking at her partner with rebuke and mockery, every minute will awaken the evil devil who lives in her partner's body. 

Follow the law of attraction: what kind of oneself, what kind of partner you will meet. 

If a person tries hard to find his inner light and goodness, then the person he meets will not be too bad! 

The happiest couple in the world is two strangers who decide to take a walk together. They are passers-by, bosom friends, friends, family, lovers, teachers and benefactors, partners who see through the flashy world side by side, support for loneliness and fragility, an alliance to experience the joys and sorrows of life, and the most unforgettable witnesses to aging, illness, and death. 

He is not only the participant and viewer of each other's life but also the fellow traveler on the road of soul liberation. 

May you and I have such lovers!