Marriage has three realms
Marriage has three realms.
The first level: marry someone you love.
The second level: marry a person you love and his or her habits.
The third realm: marry a loved one and his (her) habits, as well as his (her) background.
For couples in the first realm, the marriage is relatively stable; in the second realm, the marriage is relatively stable; in the third realm, there are few divorces.
In this world, most people who grow old together are married three times in their lives. The first time is to marry a loved one in a restaurant or church, with congratulations and blessings from friends and relatives. The second time is at home, two people after several years of running in, and get married with each other's habits. The third time is in the family, with each other's various family affection marriage. The second and third marriages are very different from the first. There is no grand wedding and no relatives and friends come to congratulate you. The only thing present is the tacit understanding or soul of both parties. However, real marriages often take place in these last two times.
Nowadays, many people get divorced after two or three years of marriage. if you analyze it carefully, you will find that the reason is that they have not extended their marriage from the first level to the second level. As we all know, boiling water can kill bacteria, and passionate love, like boiling water, can also kill the shortcomings and shortcomings of the parties. Those perfect Prince Charming and Snow White in love, after entering the tepid water of marriage, their shortcomings and shortcomings will come back like bacteria. At this time, you must step into the second realm of marriage, marry with his (her) habits, accept and tolerate his (her) shortcomings and deficiencies. Otherwise, the tree of marriage will be easily broken because its roots are too shallow.
After marriage enters the second level, few people talk about divorce. Because psychologically, they have accepted the deficiency in each other's character, and some even turn each other's deficiency into a kind of concern for themselves. At this time, the marriage is sweet and warm, and its greatest feature is tolerance and complementarity.
However, the warmth of marriage does not represent the stability of marriage, a stable marriage still needs the third sublimation, that is to marry with each other's family affection. In other words, extend your love for him (her) to his (her) parents and relatives and friends, and in this love, you have a wise understanding of marriage; your other half does not only belong to you, but he (she) also belongs to his (her) parents and friends and even belongs to him (her) himself. Once marriage enters this state, it also enters a stable state, and it is difficult to separate.
In the world of love, many men often misunderstand that marriage is to marry a woman, ignoring the pursuit of the woman herself and the background behind the woman. Many women misunderstand that marriage is to marry a man, but do not know the habit and character of marrying this man and the family behind this man. This misunderstanding makes us see a lot of broken marriages in this world.
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