Marriage turns a lover into a family

/October 2021

Dear Ah Jing: this year is the golden wedding of Grandpa and Grandma. They have been married for 50 years. 

It's incredible to marry a person and live together for 50 years, not to mention you who are not yet an adult. Even I think it's wonderful. 

In the past, people could only have children in marriage to conform to social morality and good customs. Nowadays, people still have the freedom to have children outside of marriage, which has nothing to do with social customs. 

Therefore, marriage should have a more sacred meaning, no longer just the sentiment of sacrifice and dedication. 

Recently, the husband of a friend bumped into me in a cafe, greeted me warmly, and insisted on inviting me to have coffee. 

I don't know him very well. I've only met him two or three times, and I haven't seen his wife for several years. 

After a round of pleasantries, he asked hesitantly, "are you busy?" 

Can we talk about it? " 

He admitted that because of his affair, his wife broke down when she found out, and he was completely cut off from the affair. 

However, he could not let it go when he promised to forgive his wife. Sometimes Cha frequently checked hard, sometimes he was indifferent to him, now he was unhappy, and now he was furious. 

He said he knew he was wrong and wanted to make amends, but everything became so difficult. 

"do you still love her?" 

I asked. 

The gentleman hesitated for a moment and replied, "she is like a relative to me. I don't want to lose her." 

Dear Ah Jing, at that moment, I understood the magic of marriage. 

Originally, people have a marriage because they are lovers who love each other and want to love each other for a long time. 

As a result, marriage turns lovers into relatives. 

Of course, we love our loved ones, but we are not passionate. 

That kind of crazy, hot, like treading on thin ice, haunting love, can arouse the fighting spirit of adventure and become the kinetic energy of life. 

The love for loved ones is too calm and too accustomed to, although it is indispensable, it does not sparkle. 

Human nature not only yearns for stability but also yearns for change and excitement, full of contradictions. 

I think this is why so many people, with firm confidence, enter into marriage, and some so many people are confused by affection and perform the drama of affair and betrayal. 

Often, I look at my grandparents who have been married for 50 years. They have each gone through war. When they were young, they came to this beautiful island from a land full of gunpowder smoke. They met, fell in love, got married, and went through poverty, hardship, disease, disaster, and many severe tests together. Now, however, they quarrel over who has eaten half a bowl of soup less and who should eat more oranges. 

I think they are very happy. 

I didn't ask them whether they regard each other as lovers or family? 

Fifty years have passed, and they should have understood that the other half is the most important person in their life.

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