My dearest you

/October 2021

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Her husband, Charlie, is a tall, handsome and talented drama director, while his wife, Nicole, is a beautiful, kind-hearted, witty, and humorous actress. 

When the little girls in middle school saw them, they couldn't help sighing: what a charming couple they are. 

But in a marriage with no domestic violence, no infidelity, no financial problems, like-minded interests, and a thriving career, the two still feel hurt. 

That's what "Marriage Story"-- a movie without villains-- tells you: what's painful is marriage itself. 

My wife, Nicole, can never tell what she wants. 

In the face of her husband and counselor, she could not read out the feelings she had written about her husband. 

I am Nicole, a woman who claims to be independent but is afraid to express themselves in marriage. 

Nicole thought they had made a contract to return to California after marriage, but Charlie thought it was just a casual mention by his wife. 

I am Nicole, a woman who claims to be strong, but they can't express themselves in front of their husbands. 

So the husband intentionally or unintentionally ignored his wife's feelings. On the one hand, the wife was moved by her admiration, while she looked forward to her husband's guilt. 

I'm Nicole-it's over, and I'm still in the mood. 

At the beginning of a new round of conflict, the old feud has been turned upside down. 

I want to bring it up again, but I don't think the posture is good enough. 

I want to argue with reason, but I don't want things to escalate. 

Turned over the feelings of thousands of mountains and rivers, twisted the internal organs again, only wrung out a "nothing". 

This is the marriage life that makes both men and women extremely depressed. 

Many marriages die in a toilet seat. 

When they are passionately in love, men feel that women are as clever and happy as deer. 

Married, only to find the "doe" boring from time to time-she never remembers to put the toilet seat on after using the toilet. 

But this kind of thing said to hurt self-esteem, not to mention it, every time I saw it, I was annoyed. 

So he chose to close his eyes and mouth. 

When the husband is not at home, the wife does not have to worry about whether she has covered the toilet seat or not, even the toilet seat has been properly laid flat waiting for herself. 

She thought it was too rare to be so relaxed. 

Once upon a time, the husband was such a refreshing and cheerful teenager who got married but was obsessed with the toilet seat all day. 

She felt sorry for herself, what a brilliant girl she was, but now she was so suppressed. 

Children grow up in the palms of their parents and are still at odds with each other day after day, not to mention two adult men and women who grow up from different backgrounds. 

Once living together, a close lover becomes a 24-hour monitor, so that he or she is not free to defecate or defecate. 

When I am passionately in love, when I go to the toilet and think of turning on the faucet to cover the sound of urination, my heart is still sweet. 

The old husband and wife are so old that they don't even bother to close the door. Looking at each other inside and outside the door is tired and lonely. 

People in marriage have too many inner plays. 

For example, the other party died suddenly, and he strode forward. 

For example, on his deathbed, waiting for each other's confession and Thanksgiving. 

How people want to put themselves in TV dramas, where the bad guys are completely bad and the good guys are too good to leak. 

And real life, always hurt people in the invisible, we always grievance is unclear. 

So, is there a happy marriage in this world? 

Maybe if you are very rich, you can outsource all the trivialities and unhappiness to others? 

Perhaps if it is very rational, it will be able to resolve all differences openly, in detail, and without emotion? 

Maybe if you are very easygoing, you can regard all the friction as nothing? 

So, what is marriage for? 

To share risks and taxes? 

For love, for a place to heal? 

For the family, the elderly, and the children? 

Which of these items cannot be solved without marriage? 

We can bind our partners with naked interests, or we can always tumble in the sea of love, laughing at the responsibilities and obligations in the eyes of the world. 

We can even succeed forever, be healthy and strong forever, and let go when we are about to decay. 

Perhaps every couple who is passionately in love once boasts that they can go beyond the ordinary, so they enter into marriage. 

Gradually, the population became larger, the houses became bigger, the names of each other changed, and the tone of the conversation changed. 

Like the ship of Theseus at sea. 

Once the plank was rotten, it was replaced until one day there was no more material on the ship from the beginning of the voyage. 

I am no longer in that state of mind, and the other half has become indifferent or vulgar. 

However, marriage exists, pushed by the winds and waves of life, drifting in time. 

One day, we suddenly saw ourselves in each other's eyes, unexpectedly so blurred. 

Finally asked, "is it still the same boat?" 

At what moment did it become another ship? " 

Every board on that ship is the spirit and flesh that we used to be fierce. 

In the face of wind and waves and time, they are getting old. 

We replace them, just like tearing each other's carrion. 

When the sea was calm, he lay wearily on the deck and looked at him, who was equally embarrassed. He was the man he had chosen-- a man who could not stand scrutiny. 

We looked at each other hand in hand, looked at each other's unbearably and weakness, and saw the sadness and joy that coexisted in our hearts. 

At the end of the Marriage Story, when Charlie finally saw Nicole's feelings for her husband, the two burst into tears. 

Even if you hate each other, you can't accept a third person. 

Even if separated, the friendship is still long.