Shimizu and Marriage
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To solve the problem of the increasing number of divorcees, the civil administration office in a town specially invited an old professor who studies marriage to give a lecture.
The old professor, who had white hair, came into the classroom and put a stack of questionnaires and two glass cups on his desk. Instead of starting his lecture, he first picked up the chalk and wrote a big line on the blackboard: "there is no failed marriage in the world."
There was an immediate buzz under the podium, and it was obvious that everyone was not impressed by what the old professor said.
After a while, the old professor waited until the classroom calmed down and asked a question: "who feels that their marriage is harmonious, please raise your hand."
No one in the classroom raised his hand.
The old professor smiled and said: "since everyone thinks that their marriages are not harmonious, then here is a questionnaire, I know the reasons for marital disharmony are all above, please choose, the reasons that are not on the questionnaire can be written separately."
However, legal issues such as drug abuse, gambling, and violence are not within the scope of the study of marriage scientists. If there is such a situation, please contact the public security organs promptly. "
There was a snicker under the podium.
Everyone picked up the questionnaire and saw that there were more than 100 answers written on it: the other party was stubborn, self-willed, smoking, drinking, dancing, stingy, nagging, crazy about work, obsessed with surfing the Internet.
The old professor withdrew the questionnaire and showed it to everyone one by one.
It was found that only one or two answers were chosen for each answer.
"Now I'll look into your current family situation again."
The old professor sent a questionnaire to everyone, which was densely written with more than 100 questions: is the income enough to make ends meet?
Have you ever bought a present for yourself?
Do you have children?
Is the child healthy and lively?
Are you treated in time if you are ill?
Have you ever been taken care of by each other after you are ill?
The old professor took back the questionnaire again and showed you one by one that almost all of the answers were in the affirmative.
The old professor put two questionnaires in front of him and said slowly, "there is nothing wrong with your marriage. The reason why you feel unhappy is that you artificially magnify some minor flaws in your marriage and ignore the happiness around you."
With that, the old professor took out a glass of water, took out his pen, squeezed out a drop of ink, and dropped it into the cup. The drop of ink dropped slowly in the water and finally sank to the bottom of the cup. The water in the cup was still clear.
At this time, the old professor stirred the water with his fingers, the ink at the bottom of the cup immediately tumbled upward, and the water in the cup became turbid.
This time, the water in the cup took three times longer than dripping ink to restore clarity.
The old professor slowly poured the water into another cup, then poured out the link at the bottom of the original cup, and the water in the other cup was as clear as ever.
Looking at the thoughtful men and women in the audience, the old professor said earnestly, "if you drop ink into the water, it will become muddy. Isn't this the case with marriage?"
The old professor picked up the chalk and wrote another big line after the sentence "there are no failed marriages in the world" on the blackboard: "as long as you don't muddle that glass of water."
"think about it, who on earth messed up the waters of your marriage?"
The professor turned around and suddenly questioned harshly.
All the men and women in the audience were suddenly moved and silent.
A philosopher once said: "everyone has a stain, but this does not prevent our enthusiasm and courage in the pursuit of perfection, and does not prevent us from blooming as nobly as peonies."
Similarly, the drop of ink dripping into the clear water of marriage is often formed over a long period, mixed with too many external environmental influences and human weaknesses, it may be impossible to stop the formation of that drop of ink, but we do not stir it. We can still find a way to pour it out.
It is not terrible to drop ink into the clear water of marriage, the terrible thing is that we do not think about how to pour out the ink, but keep stirring the water.