The broken chapter of love-1

/October 2021

I have warned myself more than once not to live in my heart all the time, but it is not easy to avoid the past in my heart. 

There is the bitter waiting under the flowers, the helplessness in the falling leaves, the sour feeling that has to leave, and the unforgettable and engraved feelings of on-off and on-off. 

After so much experience, I can only say that perhaps being carefree does not represent the happiness of life. I often worry about my life, so I keep thinking. It is through thinking that I can extricate myself from the trivial life and live a more leisurely life. 

I am not an indifferent person, so the people I associate with are always difficult to erase from my memory. 

As a result, I can only get lost in the forest of the past over and over again. 

It takes courage to bear this loss. 

It's bitter. 

In the cultivation of human nature, people have to endure endless inner division and self-analysis, and even self-abuse. 

No one can avoid disillusionment, love is helpless hand in hand, the reality is this, as long as you will pay attention to the past, everything will stand on the cliff of yearning into a landscape. 

Its eyes gaze into the distance, the lights are dim, there must be their yearning. 

Not every dream will come true, and not every wish will have time to wait for you to come true. When reality tells me this, you are out of my world and farther and farther away from me. 

Five years ago, it was the same when I was in love, and five years later, it was the same when I had a complex. 

I stood in a daze, silent without any thoughts, and the loess under my feet drank all the bitterness. 

I don't want to mention this again, because recalling the past in my memory brings only pain. 

I can't tell you that only your comfort can keep me away from sadness. 

But if I don't tell you, even if thousands of years have passed, you won't understand how I looked at you from afar, and how I saw you go away. 

The torrential rain once drenched my eyes and my mood at that time. 

I can't deny whether I live for you consciously or not, and everything I do should take your mood into account. 

However, you never urge me to share your happiness and keep me out of your life. 

That's what I've been upset about all my life. 

I don't know whether I should express my attachment to you and my pain after you left. 

I dare not imagine that I will wait for you forever, although this kind of waiting is not known to you. 

Listen to them say that waiting is happiness. 

I also heard them say that waiting is unspeakable pain. 

I don't know whether the waiting I'm about to start is happiness or pain. 

You left in a hurry and didn't miss it at all. 

There is nothing to miss, there is not even a past between us. 

This is my sorrow. 

I have no way to blame anyone. I blame myself for covering up the surging tide with silence like still water. 

I can't blame you, because I'm just a secret admirer at best. 

Although everything about me is clear and dim because of you, you don't know that you are safe and happy in the world outside me. 

After you left, there is a plot called waiting, I put loneliness as a place to lock up my happiness. 

I know that the road of waiting leads to loneliness. 

As a result, I had to be busy in loneliness, trudging aimlessly, and being kind to my short life on the way. 

I'm tired. 

Tired of this reality. 

In a world without you, I am not lonely, distressed, or struggling with this reality. 

So, the pain comes, the sadness comes, and some of the things that should come and should not come. 

The idea of having you with me has almost become a more and more unrealistic fantasy, although I am still waiting patiently. 

But only when I think of you in the depths of the night, do I know that I am still holding on. 

Therefore, I still have no friends, even those who are as light as water. 

I'm just accumulating my feelings and living the life of a walking corpse. 

I don't want to be like this, but the yellow leaves fall to the ground like butterflies. 

When you were away, I hid my mind over and over again. 

Feelings have been depressed for thousands of years, and they are always calm. Perhaps only when they are held up like me, will there be deep anxiety. 

I have been unwilling to accept this reality, but you have been far away from the world that does not belong to you, walking is so Enron. 

I can only wave goodbye to my mind. 

I want you to live in my sight, even if not for me, I can be happy because of you, busy, endless.

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